hold my hand,

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 15:23:12 GMT

so it is now 8:20....
i still have yet to fall asleep.
i saw the black dahia with matt.
taylor got drunk.
i have a stomach painted on my face with lipstick
& we chased some kids we saw stealing booze from the pharmacy with brandons car.

i feel like i could cut my arms off ¬ feel it.

Tue, 16 May 2006 21:25:41 GMT

i'm so tired of vexatious, callow little twits interfering in my social life.

honestly, if you really can't find anything better to do with your time i suggest you turn off your computer and find a hobby.

i'm sure there are other twelve year olds out there who crave just as much drama as you do

SO GO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM AND LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CUNTS!

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 20:23:49 GMT

there's a lot going on right now.
i haven't cried since the last time i saw him.
but i want to.

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 02:26:06 GMT

i didn't realize just how lost i was till last night when i was sitting with a group of friends having fun and all i could do was think of how much i would rather be with him.

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:32:39 GMT

LittleMissURiNe: i dont trust 'breaks' they're usually just excuses to not seem so mean

i really hope that's not the case

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:27:07 GMT

i've heard of people crying themselves to sleep but i never knew you could cry yourself awake. i probably got about an hour of sleep last night. i honestly don't know what to do with myself, maybe it would be better if i just moved. i'm so scared of what's going to happen. every night i used to fall asleep thinking about how someday you would be there with me, last night all i could think about was how you weren't there. i know people would say i'm stupid and i don't know what love is but i've never felt something so strongly in my entire life. i hope you know i love you i'll wait as long as you want me to. just don't forget about me. please.

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 23:59:10 GMT

i'm in love with a boy &his charming smile<3

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 05:34:37 GMT

here's a long rant cause i'm sad:

i'm sick of being second to everyone.
just as least once i would like to have friends i could see more then once a month.
the other night my mom mentioned how she had a dream that she was bleeding to death and it made me cry but i didn't let her see.
i was spacing out in the car tonight driving with krysti and had a dream that jason had beaten my mom and thats why she was bleeding and i pulled a knife on him and threw my mom in the car.
i was speeding around trying to find a hospital crying my eyes out telling her things would be ok but he was following us and i was lost.
then i started crying but i made sure no one saw.
i'm scared and i can't even tell people what i'm scared of cause one i don't know and two i have no one to tell cause i don't have anyone to tell.
i really miss him and it bothers me that we don't see eachother but i can't blame him cause he's grounded.
it just sucks that he still manages to see everyone but me.
sometimes i think it's just an excuse not to hang out with me.
thats just me being stupid though.
sometimes i wish he knew how i would do just about anything for him.
i wish he knew how happy i get when he texts me in the morning.
or how every time i see him i have to fight myself from jumping into his arms.
i wish i wasn't such a stupid girl.
i hate this feeling of being in love and caring so much about someone when they don't seem to feel the same.
since i've moved back to huntington i haven't seen anyone.
i think i'm quitting my job tomorrow.

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 06:29:46 GMT

whenever i watch old movies i think about all the people in the scene and how they're probably dead by now.

i need to get out more...

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 00:51:43 GMT

ok so i thought everything was ok but i guess not judging from your journal.

sorry im a fuck up.
sorry i came back.

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 07:44:30 GMT

sushi &miso soup hearts <3

what a wonderful night.

"&alt3"

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 19:38:03 GMT

Last night I watched Kaleen,Colin, and Kasey get drunk in the the parking lot of Boomers then we drove to Nickel Nickel where Kaleen tried to take people out with a sword video game and realized that the camera Kasey shoved down his pants to steal from 7-11 for her didn't have a flash.

After that I got a milkshake
&Kasey ran Colin over with the old person wheel chair at the grocery store.

Then we went home to watch some wierd movie about 9/11 conspiracies.

Afterwards on my way home we passed the block where someones old coke dealer shot someone and Colin pissed off some driver that ended up following us past my house and across half of orange county.

Surprisingly I only got home 13 minutes late.

PS I'm moving back to Huntington and now I'm scared that the only person I even want to come back for has too much of a good life without me.

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 05:24:08 GMT

I know my heart and it will never change.

Just let me prove it to you.

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 07:18:21 GMT

i miss waking up in the middle of the night to your texts.

i can't shake this feeling.
things just started getting better.
i don't want them to change.

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 02:07:00 GMT

i woke up this morning and caught a frog in my kitchen.
right now she's in a large bucket with some water and rocks.
i don't want to let her out in our neighborhood cause the kids will squish her so as of now she will remain in the bucket.
the pool guy who found her to begin with thinks shes a girl because she acted all shy when he first found her then freaked out like a usual female.
i think i'm going to name her penelope or maybe i'll name her after some historical figure.

other then that i've spent my whole day off of work babysitting a bunch of kids.
i can't shake this lonely disappointed feeling.

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 07:26:07 GMT

i don't know whats wrong with me.
i keep getting this overwhelming lonely feeling.
i dunno maybe i'm just insecure or something.

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 04:53:58 GMT

and I miss you
even here taking it all in.

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 02:04:50 GMT

today equals the most wasted day of my life.
i just sat in bed and watched inked and dog the bounty hunter.
someone save me.

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 04:40:35 GMT

new years eve was nice.
i spent it with my favorite boy.
then i went to work.
hopefully it will rain again tomorrow so i can play in the rain &take some pictures.
i need a good jacket.

this made me laugh.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 20:16:47 GMT

Okay.
so yesterday rex gets a call from this girl.
I don't really know her but she seems like a sweet girl.
So yeah anywhoooo back to the story.
She then asks rex for my telephone number.
Rex replies with "Her phones off but if you want i can give her a message since i'll probably talk to her later"
HAHAHAH this is the good part!
She says "oh ummm i dunno i just heard she could get me some coke"
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
so yeah for those of you who know me,
I don't do drugs &i never will.
hehe that makes me laugh.
It's official I'm a hardcore coke dealer of the masses :)
J/K!

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 19:29:28 GMT

off to work i go!

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 09:00:25 GMT

i went on an adventure with rex today.
originally we were going to go see a movie but neither of us knew how to get to the block so we decided to take a new route.
So instead...
+we passed my grandmas old house in santa ana.
+stopped by target &bought some poloroid film.
+i bought rex some stuff for his PSP.
+headed towards long beach &looked at all the savvy vintage shops on 4th street.
+rex bought me pretty glasses &a memebers only jacket.
had pizza at little ceasers.
+bought chapstick.
+kissed a certain boy i love in front of christmas lights.
+came home &watched Dr. 90210 with my mommy. (i love her so much)

then...
-i found out mike doesn't like me.
-chelsea is spreading lies about me &telling everyone me &wes have a thing even though i haven't seen the kid since school got out.
-&&& he thinks she's hot.
-i don't think i can compete.

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 08:13:08 GMT

this years christmas was nice.
i woke up late and gave my mom her present which she loved.
she even got me presents which im very thankful for.
no matter what the situation may be she always manages.
after presents we had breakfast then went to a movie together.
all in all it was a great christmas.

deathcab for cutie + a boy with a charming smile = lots of smiles for aubrey <3.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 04:13:59 GMT

well i'm still alive.
not sure many people even knew i've been gone but yeah i'll be gone for a while due to the lack of shelter and what not.
i got a job at electric chair finally.
i'll probably be working all of christmas break so you people should come visit me sometime. it makes me smile.
so yeah i'm switching schools at the end of the semester and i'm somewhat homeless right now but we're looking for a place but i'm not sure where that place will be.

i like candy.

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:14:30 GMT

i'm not happy.
but i'm not sad either.
just stuck in between.
all i do now is wait for the day to end thinking something better will come tomorrow.
but it never does.

i don't like this feeling.