[22 Sep 2006|08:20am] [ mood | numb ] so it is now 8:20.... i still have yet to fall asleep. i saw the black dahia with matt. taylor got drunk. i have a stomach painted on my face with lipstick & we chased some kids we saw stealing booze from the pharmacy with brandons car. i feel like i could cut my arms off ¬ feel it. 1 comment|post comment

[16 May 2006|02:25pm] i'm so tired of vexatious, callow little twits interfering in my social life. honestly, if you really can't find anything better to do with your time i suggest you turn off your computer and find a hobby. i'm sure there are other twelve year olds out there who crave just as much drama as you do SO GO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM AND LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CUNTS! post comment

[05 Apr 2006|01:23pm] there's a lot going on right now. i haven't cried since the last time i saw him. but i want to. 1 comment|post comment

[31 Mar 2006|06:25pm] i didn't realize just how lost i was till last night when i was sitting with a group of friends having fun and all i could do was think of how much i would rather be with him. 2 comments|post comment

[29 Mar 2006|01:32pm] LittleMissURiNe: i dont trust 'breaks' they're usually just excuses to not seem so mean i really hope that's not the case post comment

[29 Mar 2006|01:27pm] i've heard of people crying themselves to sleep but i never knew you could cry yourself awake. i probably got about an hour of sleep last night. i honestly don't know what to do with myself, maybe it would be better if i just moved. i'm so scared of what's going to happen. every night i used to fall asleep thinking about how someday you would be there with me, last night all i could think about was how you weren't there. i know people would say i'm stupid and i don't know what love is but i've never felt something so strongly in my entire life. i hope you know i love you i'll wait as long as you want me to. just don't forget about me. please. post comment

[27 Mar 2006|03:59pm] i'm in love with a boy &his charming smile<3 2 comments|post comment

[24 Mar 2006|09:34pm] [ music | death cab - crowded teeth ] here's a long rant cause i'm sad: i'm sick of being second to everyone. just as least once i would like to have friends i could see more then once a month. the other night my mom mentioned how she had a dream that she was bleeding to death and it made me cry but i didn't let her see. i was spacing out in the car tonight driving with krysti and had a dream that jason had beaten my mom and thats why she was bleeding and i pulled a knife on him and threw my mom in the car. i was speeding around trying to find a hospital crying my eyes out telling her things would be ok but he was following us and i was lost. then i started crying but i made sure no one saw. i'm scared and i can't even tell people what i'm scared of cause one i don't know and two i have no one to tell cause i don't have anyone to tell. i really miss him and it bothers me that we don't see eachother but i can't blame him cause he's grounded. it just sucks that he still manages to see everyone but me. sometimes i think it's just an excuse not to hang out with me. thats just me being stupid though. sometimes i wish he knew how i would do just about anything for him. i wish he knew how happy i get when he texts me in the morning. or how every time i see him i have to fight myself from jumping into his arms. i wish i wasn't such a stupid girl. i hate this feeling of being in love and caring so much about someone when they don't seem to feel the same. since i've moved back to huntington i haven't seen anyone. i think i'm quitting my job tomorrow. 1 comment|post comment

[02 Mar 2006|10:29pm] whenever i watch old movies i think about all the people in the scene and how they're probably dead by now. i need to get out more... post comment

[22 Feb 2006|04:51pm] ok so i thought everything was ok but i guess not judging from your journal. sorry im a fuck up. sorry i came back. 2 comments|post comment

[10 Feb 2006|11:44pm] sushi &miso soup hearts <3 what a wonderful night. "&alt3" 1 comment|post comment

[10 Feb 2006|11:15am] [ mood | curious ] Last night I watched Kaleen,Colin, and Kasey get drunk in the the parking lot of Boomers then we drove to Nickel Nickel where Kaleen tried to take people out with a sword video game and realized that the camera Kasey shoved down his pants to steal from 7-11 for her didn't have a flash. After that I got a milkshake &Kasey ran Colin over with the old person wheel chair at the grocery store. Then we went home to watch some wierd movie about 9/11 conspiracies. Afterwards on my way home we passed the block where someones old coke dealer shot someone and Colin pissed off some driver that ended up following us past my house and across half of orange county. Surprisingly I only got home 13 minutes late. PS I'm moving back to Huntington and now I'm scared that the only person I even want to come back for has too much of a good life without me. 6 comments|post comment

[21 Jan 2006|09:23pm] [ mood | scared ] I know my heart and it will never change. Just let me prove it to you. post comment

[06 Jan 2006|11:18pm] i miss waking up in the middle of the night to your texts. i can't shake this feeling. things just started getting better. i don't want them to change. 2 comments|post comment

[06 Jan 2006|06:07pm] i woke up this morning and caught a frog in my kitchen. right now she's in a large bucket with some water and rocks. i don't want to let her out in our neighborhood cause the kids will squish her so as of now she will remain in the bucket. the pool guy who found her to begin with thinks shes a girl because she acted all shy when he first found her then freaked out like a usual female. i think i'm going to name her penelope or maybe i'll name her after some historical figure. other then that i've spent my whole day off of work babysitting a bunch of kids. i can't shake this lonely disappointed feeling. post comment

[05 Jan 2006|11:26pm] i don't know whats wrong with me. i keep getting this overwhelming lonely feeling. i dunno maybe i'm just insecure or something. 4 comments|post comment

[05 Jan 2006|08:41pm] and I miss you even here taking it all in. 1 comment|post comment

[02 Jan 2006|06:04pm] today equals the most wasted day of my life. i just sat in bed and watched inked and dog the bounty hunter. someone save me. 2 comments|post comment

[01 Jan 2006|08:40pm] new years eve was nice. i spent it with my favorite boy. then i went to work. hopefully it will rain again tomorrow so i can play in the rain &take some pictures. i need a good jacket. 1 comment|post comment

this made me laugh. [29 Dec 2005|12:16pm] Okay. so yesterday rex gets a call from this girl. I don't really know her but she seems like a sweet girl. So yeah anywhoooo back to the story. She then asks rex for my telephone number. Rex replies with "Her phones off but if you want i can give her a message since i'll probably talk to her later" HAHAHAH this is the good part! She says "oh ummm i dunno i just heard she could get me some coke" HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. so yeah for those of you who know me, I don't do drugs &i never will. hehe that makes me laugh. It's official I'm a hardcore coke dealer of the masses :) J/K! 8 comments|post comment

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